It is not always easy to determine in the early stages of a relationship if one or both partners will become abusive. Partners may seem wonderful and perfect initially, but gradually become more aggressive and controlling as the relationship continues. Abuse may begin with behaviors that may easily be dismissed or downplayed such as name-calling, threats, possessiveness, or distrust. Afterwards there may be profuse apologies, trying to convince their partner or themselves that these behaviors are out of love and care.
However, domestic violence intensifies over time. What may start out as something that was first believed to be harmless (e.g., wanting to spend all their time only with their partner because they love them so much) escalates into extreme control and abuse (e.g., threatening to kill or hurt their partners or others if they speak to family, friends, etc.). Domestic violence is physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The devastating physical, emotional, and psychological consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.
At Healthy Connections Counseling Center, we utilize an eclectic treatment approach for both the survivors and perpetrators of domestic violence. We incorporate behavioral and cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) to change the behavior by identifying the thought processes and beliefs that contribute to the violence. Trauma therapy is used to help both partners deal with the symptoms of the abuse. Grief therapy is also used to address the loss of the relationship the way it was or the way we had hoped it would be.